My sermon on July 23, 2023 at Bluegrass United Church of Christ in Lexington, Kentucky.
You can hear the audio version at kennybishop.com/podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
John 4: 4-7, 9-18
Jesus was going through Samaria and came to a well. He was thirsty but didn’t have anything to draw water with, so when a Samaritan woman came to the well to get some water for herself, Jesus asked if she’d give him some water.
“Aren’t you a Jewish man?” she asked, “I thought Jewish men didn’t ask Samaritan women for things.” (That’s important to know because Jews and Samaritans did not associate with each other.)
Jesus replied, “Well, actually, if you knew who I was, you’d be asking me for a drink ‘cause my water is better than your water.”
“How are you gonna give me “special” water?” she asked. “You don’t even have a bucket.”
“You’re not understanding me,” he replied. “Anybody who drinks this water is bound to get thirsty again, but whoever drinks my water won’t. My water is like a spring that’s always running and always quenching.”
“That sounds awesome!” she exclaimed. “I’ll take your water if it means I don’t have to come all the way down here every day and lug these heavy buckets back into town.”
“Good!” Jesus said. “Now do me a favor, run grab your husband and bring him back here. I’ll wait.”
“Uhm… I don’t have a husband.”
“I know…”
Have you ever tried to buy a Valentine’s card or an anniversary card when you’re bickering with your other half? It’s hard to do when you’re not especially feeling the love.
You stand there looking through card after card, reading beautiful words and wonderful sentiments and poetic expressions of your deep, undying, neverending love for your significant other, but that ugly argument and the memories of those hurtful words are making it so hard to feel the love, at least right now. You’d put it off and come back when you’re feeling more sentimental, but you already waited till the last minute, and time’s up. Feeling it or not, you’ve got to find a card that says how you want to feel, whether you’re feeling it right now or not.
Truth is, you know there’s still something very special there. This moment of tension and anger won't last. It’s hard to feel it now, but you know when the words on the card are finally seen and received, you’ll be glad you took the time to find just the one that expresses how in love with them you are. You know it because, for a thousand reasons, that person is the love of your life. You know their quirks and habits and likes and dislikes and the things that make them happy and the things that get deep under their skin. You also know the things they do that get under your skin. You know who they are… you know… you know, and you’re still madly in love with them.
You know… and you love… still.
- - - - - - -
I’ve shared here before an experience I had several years ago at a really formal event up in Washington, DC. I’d been invited to go up and sing at a super fancy event in one of those really classy hotel ballrooms just across the street from the White House.
I was part of an all-star lineup. Well, it was more like what you might see in a “celebrity” reality TV show - you know, where the cast is made up of not A-list celebrities - except I was definitely the least celebrity among them - if I was a “celebrity” at all. Not many Gospel singers are thought of as celebrities.
But it was a fun group. I was there with WWE wrestler, Kofi Kingston, Formula One driver, JR Hildebrand, Chris Allen from American Idol, actor Ricky Schroder, LeeAnn Rimes the incredible country singer, and NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Not a horrible lineup at all.
We were all there to honor the service of Lieutenant General John B. Conaway who’d served as the nation’s Chief of the National Guard. The real celebrities were there because they were famous for one reason or another. I was there because General Conaway was and is a friend of mine.
There were lots of other high military officials, dignitaries, Congressmen and Senators, US Cabinet Secretaries, and other high-ranking government officials there, and some big-name media personalities. And as you’d expect, everyone in the room looked impeccable - dressed to the nines!
Before I left for my trip to DC, I got a fresh haircut, took my suit to the cleaners, and had my shirt professionally pressed. I got a new tie, a new belt, and had my shoes polished till they shined like glass.
Come show time, I was gonna look good!
When I arrived in DC I dropped my things off in my room and went straight to the ballroom to meet the rest of the “cast” for sound checks and rehearsals. When we finished up there, I went back up to my room to get dressed and to put myself together.
That’s when I noticed my horrible mistake. I’d packed the wrong socks. They were the right color - but they were the wrong socks. The right socks didn’t have holes in them. These socks did, or at least one of them did.
There wasn’t time to buy new ones, so, along with my freshly cleaned suit, my freshly pressed shirt, my new belt, my new tie, and my extra-shiny shoes - underneath all of that where no one could see, was one sock I wouldn’t be embarrassed for anyone to know about, and another that had a hole that two toes could fit through - and did.
Dressed and primped and ready to hobnob, I made my way down to the ballroom to mingle among the DC elite. The dinner was exquisite, the tribute to the General was wonderful, and the show was a big success. By the time it was all over, as all the “celebrities” lined up across the front of the stage for one final bow, I’d actually forgotten all about my hole-ly, ratty sock.
There was no way anybody could know. If you looked at me, you saw all the new stuff, all the stuff that had been cleaned and pressed and polished. But there was a part you couldn’t see. It was the part that I hid because I couldn’t imagine that anyone else among this esteemed group of powerful and accomplished people would be wearing a sock full of holes.
Oh! If they knew!
“If your water means I don’t have to keep coming down here every day and haul these horrible, heavy buckets back into town, I’ll take that living water you’re offering!”
“Good! Now, run grab your husband and bring him back here. I’ll wait.”
“Uhm… I don’t have a husband.”
“I know,” he said. “I know you don’t have a husband, at least not right now. You did before, but I know you don’t have a husband now.”
There’s so much stuff that we can’t see - but God can. There’s so much stuff that we don’t know, but God does.
In this beautiful exchange, we can be impressed with the fact that Jesus ignores religious boundaries, class boundaries, societal boundaries, and racial boundaries - that he ignores all of those prejudices to have a meaningful conversation with a woman who was on the other side of all those boundaries. We can be inspired by this holy Messiah’s humanity, his limits, and his need for help when it comes to the most basic things.
We can be encouraged that he not only knew about this woman’s tumultuous life, her bad decisions, and the resulting consequences but we can be encouraged that he didn’t allow any of those things to interfere with his love for her and his desire to make her life better. He didn’t pause for a second to question whether she deserved this wonderful water he had to give.
We are led to believe in this story that Jesus knew exactly, from the moment he asked her for a drink, who he was having a conversation with.
After his unbelievable offer, I imagine it going something like this:
“This water you’re offering sounds too good to be true. But if it means I don’t have to haul these heavy buckets back and forth every day, I’ll take it!”
But Jesus knew her. He knew the one thing she was most ashamed of, the one thing that always seemed to be holding her back. It’s the reason she comes to the well alone in the middle of the day instead of earlier with all the others when it’s cooler and the heat isn’t as oppressive.
Failed relationship after failed relationship has labeled her a failed human. She’s marked as a loser. She’s known as a failure - Jesus knows why.
So when he mentions her husband, he knows that he’s confronting her deepest shame. “Good,” he says. “I’m glad you’re interested in the water. Go get your husband, I’d like to meet him.”
Suddenly, her stomach tightens, she almost gasps as she hears the words and feels the shame. The heat of her inner turmoil moves up into her chest, through her throat, and blushes her face.
Of all things… of all the things for this man to bring up. She can feel the embarrassment. She struggles not to show it.
So it was too good to be true after all, she thought.
Disguising her emotions as best she could, at the risk of losing this water-bucket lottery, she almost whispers her truth, as humiliating as it is. “I have no husband.”
I almost smile when I think about what happens next. I smile because I imagine it’s not at all what she expected.
In the bible account, what we read is Jesus telling her that he already knew about her multiple marriages and her current tenuous living situation. He knew even before he mentioned it, and he admired her for telling him the truth.
I believe sincerely that Jesus wasn’t as interested in the Samaritan woman’s marriage or living situation, as he was in trying to help her get past her shame.
I imagine Jesus looking deep into her eyes after her confession and saying, “Good! Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, how about that water? I’m still offering if you’re still taking.”
Friends, whatever it is that’s holding you up, whatever it is that’s holding you back, whatever it is that you’re most ashamed of, whatever it is that you can’t seem to get past, it’s true - God is already aware. You may have people in your life who don’t want you to get past your shame; they may want you to feel low and embarrassed and ashamed of yourself.
But I want you to know that their estimation of you is not God’s estimation. They may want you to live in a place of constant sorrow, but God does not. That may be the way they are, but that’s not the way God is. That may be the way they “care,” but that’s not God’s way.
God may just have you confront your deepest shame. God may ask you to be honest with your hard truth. But trust me, if God asks you it’s to try and get you to confront it so you can get past it once and for all.
If that happens to you, don’t think it’s a dirty little trick by a devious, malicious god that’s trying to keep you in your shame. Know that it’s an act of love from the God of love, from the God who is aware of what keeps you awake at night and brings you to the well all alone. It’s an act of compassion from the God who knows.
God is aware, you know. God knows.